The Art of Lying

Before I begin, I have to give kudos to my sister for her poignant insight into my little world.  She called me this morning as I was going to take a shower.  I commented that it would be so nice if they would just make showers with telephones built into them... It's a bad idea now that I think about it.  Her response, which didn't miss a beat, was that I would never get any thinking done.  She really does know me best!  So this blog is dedicated to her...  not that it has anything to do with her.  This is what I pondered as I shampooed.

As a mother of school-aged children, I have become aware that my children are frequently telling lies.  I don't consider my kids defiant or devious, they are just going through a part of childhood that someday they will not be very proud of.  I know this because in my youth I told some fabulous lies.  They were so good that I actually believed them myself.  I like to think of my mind as complicated, not psychotic.

The first horrible lie I remember vividly was when I was in the first grade.  My best friend Meredith came over to play one afternoon.  We were like peas and carrots.  As our playtime came to an end, we talked about how cool it would be if I could walk home with her after school instead of taking the bus to my house.  The next day at school all I could think about was going home with Mer.  I was so excited.  As my teacher was getting us ready to go home at the end of the day, I told her I was walking home with Meredith.  Mrs. B, we'll call her, asked me where my note was and I immediately began balling.  I told her I left it on the table at home.  This was not true.  There was no letter.  I had not even mentioned the idea to my mom.  I was so convincing that Mrs. B let me go home with Mer!

My mom was home with my three-year-old brother and brand new baby sister.  Meredith's mom was nine months pregnant with her sixth child, and sat miserably in the 90 degree weather on the couch when we arrived.  Mer's mom knew how to "roll with the punches" and I don't remember her being upset about having another kid in her house...she just looked really hot.  My mom, on the other hand, freaked out when the school bus passed our house.  She called the school, and from what I hear she had a few choice words for my teacher when she found out where I went.  Then she called me.  I remember being handed the phone and feeling my stomach drop to my toes.  I don't recall being punished for my lie, but I fully understood that I was not going to do it again.  I think my teacher took most of my mom's wrath, because the next day at school she gripped me by the wrist and threateningly told me to never do that to her again.  As a mom and elementary teacher in retrospect, she should never have allowed me to go anywhere without the facts first.

This brings me back to my children and their convincing lies.  It's so hard to know the difference between fact and fiction without being all knowing and omnipresent.  I struggle on a daily basis trying to discern who is being truthful and who is not.  As a parent, it's so discouraging that no matter how earnestly you try to instill good values in your children, they seem to need to fail and reap the consequences of their actions to really "get it." 

So this is where I insert something positive and encourage my parent readers who struggle with the same problem.  I could quote scripture or tell you to be consistent with your discipline and someday it will pay off, but that's not what I'm feeling right now.  I keep thinking about the crazy convincing lies I told as a child....like when I ran the water in the tub, scrubbed my arm with soap, and changed my clothes instead of taking a shower.  Who knows if mom really believed me when I put my arm under her nose and asked to go play, but it worked.  My only hope for my children comes from the fact that somewhere in my life a change occurred and I became a horrible liar!  I am so acutely aware that lying is wrong that I just can't do it anymore.  I can't even lie in jest or to keep a secret!  So there you have it.  My Epiphany in the Shower for today is:  The more a person lies as a child, the less likely it is that she'll be able to lie as an adult.