Sticks and Stones

Lately, I've felt so alienated in this world.  I have a wonderful family and really great friends, but outside of my little world everyone seems foreign. As much as I love them, I can't relate to most of my family members and many people I've called friend for years.

I watch the news, sitcoms, talk shows, listen to the radio, see comments on facebook and read Internet articles, all of which are so far from my reality.   I welcome diversity, but feel that the "common truths" our forefathers agreed upon have become so tissue paper thin.  What a life is, is debatable, freedoms are only for the people of great influence and their followers, and trying to be happy seems to be difficult to do without being judged.  I'm constantly on my guard not to offend with my comments or actions.  It's so hard to be myself.  I like me, but I don't set any current standards for normalcy.  My values are definitely not aligned with common ideas.

I feel that today's mentality is to focus on ourselves.  "It's my right to voice my opinion and your opinions are hateful."  "Let someone else help out, I've got my own stuff to do."  "I couldn't possibly do something that mundane, it would stifle me."  It's easy to fall into this trend, but I don't see how looking out for "number one" is making anyone happier.  We were not created to progress as solitary beings.  You might respond, "I'm not alone, I've got tons of people in my life!"  Be honest though, how many of those people could you truly bare your soul to with raw honesty?  One if you're lucky.  Just being truly honest with yourself is painfully uncomfortable.  How can man hope to find progress, if he is the king of his world, but so is everyone else?  How can man be productive if he is the basis of all truth?  Which tomorrow, could change.

I'm not looking to change the world with this little entry on my blog.  I have just been so sad at the state of our world.  I have been so sad for my loved ones, great friends, and neighbors.  I have been so sad for my countrymen, people in the media, politicians, citizens of other countries and world leaders.  I am so sad that it is far more intelligent to stand alone than to stand solidly unified.  Maybe there is such disunity and unrest among people because we are not all anchored into one solid truth.

I was listening to a song that questioned, "What will happen after we're gone?"  I thought about the body that we leave behind and how it's just a shell of who we are.  I've never really been able to feel at home in my own body.  It's awkward, slow, gives me a lot of pain, addictive, and physically inept.  I've always said the true me is looking out through my eyes.  The true me is locked inside this flesh.  I don't need another person, a book, or out of body experience to tell me that there is more to me than Emily, 1977-20??. 

This world makes me feel uncomfortable, sad and alone.  The Truth gives me rest, joy and hope!