Thanks for the Sliver of Soap

I need to take a moment to say thank you to all the people who caused my jaw to drop and say, "ah, man!" and occasionally a "come on!"

Thanks, to the guy who watched me try to parallel park between his and another car.  You could have backed up a bit, but no, you stared with bug-eyes that could only mean, "stupid woman's gonna hit my car!"  I don't know what was worse, your demeaning expression or the fact that your car was parked right on the line.  Well, lucky for you I got super nervous and found another spot. 

Thanks, to the person who always leaves just one square of toilet paper.  No, that's not enough.

Thanks, to the guy who wanted my parking spot and watched with his turn signal on while I tried to get my three-year old in the car and loaded my groceries in the freezing rain.  No, you didn't make me super nervous and self-conscious every time I had to bend over.

Thanks, to the lady having a garage sale for selling me broken stuff.  When I ask, "does it work?" please be honest.

Thanks, to the waitress for rolling your eyes when grandma indecisively ordered.  She's lived a long life!  Give her a minute to make a decision.

Thanks, to the parent in the drop-off lane who threw up his hands and gave me a nasty look when I got out to take care of my crying son.

Thanks, to my father-in-law for congratulating my husband on a yummy dinner when I was the one who spent hours in the kitchen.

Thanks, to an acquaintance for telling me I was a plain kind of pretty.

Thanks, to people who wrap tiny presents in big boxes.  I shouldn't have gone out and gotten you another gift.

Thanks, to my oblivion for not noticing what day it was and rushing to the grocery store because all my coupons expired the next day....only to find out they were expired today.

And finally, thanks for the sliver of soap left in the shower this morning...I was all wet by the time I looked.